Step Ten
Sometimes our first sponsors can seem almost divinely inspired. Often they’re overflowing with spiritual wisdom and revelations that can leave the newly sober genuinely awe struck. “Don’t take that first drink and you’ll never get drunk” is one of the first bits of Olympian wisdom we hear. “Live life one day at a time” is usually the next.
On the “one day at a time” business my first sponsor may well have goofed. He actually shared with me the secret of how to accomplish that seemingly Herculean feat. I don’t know if he was subsequently drummed out of the Semi-Divine Sponsors Guild for revealing such a closely guarded trade secret, but I’m forever grateful that I was let in to that inner sanctum where the answers to all of sobriety’s riddles reside. And since you’ve waded this far into this column without turning back, you too will now be rewarded with the answer to the age-old question, “Just how do you live one day at a time?” The answer: Step Ten.
My sponsor told me that once I’d stopped drinking I no longer had a problem with alcohol, now the only problem I had was with my mind. “Maintain a strong spiritual connection throughout the day and learn to focus your attention only on that one day,” he said. “Don’t quit drinking for the rest of your life – it’ll overwhelm you. Don’t try to live your life beyond one day or it will overwhelm you too.”
He said, “Step Ten is the key to learning how we live in the NOW. Start out each day focusing only on the 24 hours ahead. Ask God for a day of sobriety and then ask God to show you where you can be helpful to another alcoholic or addict. Once you’ve done that then you’re set for the day. Now you’re in God’s Day. If you get a thought about yesterday that’s making you feel guilty, don’t entertain it – just let it go. Pull your mind back into today – pull it back into Reality. And if you get a thought about tomorrow that’s got you frightened, learn not to entertain that one either – let it go too and again, pull your mind back to today. It’s OK to look at the past and it’s OK to plan for the future, but when there’s guilt and fear attached to either of them, be careful. This is where the ego loves to get control of us. Learn to pull your mind back into the NOW. That’s where Reality is. That’s where God is.”
What my sponsor had described is what the program calls the spot check inventory. There’s also the daily inventory we take at the close of each day. Here again we’re advised to look back only on the events of the day just ending. What did I do right? Did I help anyone today? Check in with God today? Stay sober today? Look only at the things that happened that day. Look first at what you did right and then at where you may have gone wrong. You may find that an amend is needed to clean up your side of the street. Make up your mind to do it first chance you get and then put a close to that day.
He told me that if I learned to do this and really practiced it every day, then in about two years I’d have the One Day At A Time Business down pretty good. He thought that’s about how long it takes to re-train your mind to start living in the NOW.
Well, it’s almost 30 years later and I’m still trying to live one whole day in the NOW. Maybe tomorrow! Ooops!