Step Seven
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous never ceases to amaze me. The way it handles Steps Six and Seven is certainly no exception. The Big Book devotes only two short paragraphs to these two steps. In a book, the first 164 pages of which form a manual for alcoholics with the purpose of teaching them a step-by-step method for having a spiritual awakening that will relieve them of their addiction, why are these two steps given so little space and attention?
I don't claim to know the answer to that question. Maybe the fact that there are so few words is intentional - perhaps not so much by the authors with a small "a" who wrote the book as by the Author who inspired it and who rates a capital "A." Some old-timers taught me that these two steps actually form the turning point of the program. Remembering my high school math, I was also taught that points take up very little space - actually points take up no space at all! Points exist only in our minds. Now with that little math lesson behind us, we might also recall the book saying somewhere that our problem also exists in our minds. In fact, changing our minds (read that: having a spiritual awakening) is the whole point of the book. To quote Bill Wilson, "This is the exact point at which we abandon limited objectives, and move toward God's will for us."
These two steps mark that point where we make a dramatic shift in our consciousness. We come to see that peace and serenity are possible in our lives only when our lives are properly aligned and in balance with God, our fellows and with our true selves (read that: when we've learned to both give and receive love). Whatever blocks the alignment among these three disturbs the natural balance in which we are meant to live (read that: when we live in fear). In the language of religion this blockage is called sin. Sin means, "missing the mark". It means falling short of our real goal - who we really are truly meant to be. In 12 Step fellowships we call these blockages character defects and shortcomings but, in the end, they are all the same thing. Wilson says that at the root of our problems we will always find self-centered fear. He further identifies it as "fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration." Sound familiar?
So in Step Six we become ready to have these defects or sins removed because they keep us from being who we are. In Step Seven we humbly ask God to remove them.
My experience with these two steps goes something like this: I'm paddling my canoe down the river of life doing pretty good. I'm working my program, in touch with God and loving my fellows. This generally lasts all of about eight seconds. Then suddenly someone or something comes along (read that: life happening on life's terms) and my imagined and short-lived security is threatened. I perceive something or someone as a threat and so I react. The reaction to this fear generally takes the form of anger either expressed or suppressed. My canoe starts taking on water. My serenity is gone. I lose the connection I had to God and I lose the love I had for my fellows - especially the SOB who caused whatever problem I perceive him to have caused (read that: projection).
Now this is where Steps Six and Seven come in. I am perfectly free to continue in this state of emotional and spiritual blockage for just as long as I choose. I can curse the guy who disturbed my imaginary peace for an hour or a day or a lifetime; but I pay a price. The price is that this blockage in my spiritual life blocks out God and it blocks me from being my true self. Pain begins to build. The anger and resentment turn inward and I get depressed. This is Step Six at work. Ain't it grand! This is part of the "getting ready" to have the defect/sin removed. We always get to say when we've had enough.
When I'm done with Step Six and the pain has made me ready, I move on to Step Seven (read that: thank you, God, I needed exactly that lesson). Now beaten by life the way I was beaten by my addiction, I recognize that yet another area of my life is unmanageable when I try to face it without God. And then I remember once again that there is a solution. I get the point! I gain the humility that I lacked just a few moments ago and I turn to God and say something like this:
"My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray now that you remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen."
Now it is possible to do all of this without holding on so long and getting hit with all that pain. Someday I hope to reach that point!
So I Keep Coming Back!